So, I’ve been a way for a while. I don’t know whether I’ve had complete writers block or if I’ve just been avoiding the ‘net for a while. Either way things have been, well, ‘sparsely’ hectic for the last few weeks. What have I been doing with myself? Well, nothing too exciting I’m afraid. I seem to be having an identity crisis. Am I a free-speaking and strongly opinionated writer or am I a rule-following upcoming clinical psychologist?! The two jobs/lifestyles couldn’t be any more different. I can choose a stable well-paid job helping others; a job which requires further education, namely a master’s degree and a three year apprenticeship, a job that will legally strip me of personal opinion and true individuality. Or on the other hand I can be a servant to creativity and not the system. As a writer I can express myself, I can search my soul, pour my heart out and touch other people’s life’s with only words.. Or is that what Psychologist’s do?! When I think of myself in a white coat, sitting in a stuffy office that smells of hospital and old people, with a name above my door that says ‘Doctor’, I get scared. I’m afraid that I’ll lose myself, lose who I really am. Do Psychologists listen to ‘Peaches’, smoke weed and like fucking other young women?! Up until a hundred (actually its less) years ago, homosexuality was classed as a mental disorder.. do I really want to associate myself with a an organization like that? Or have the times really changed? The next time my GP refers me to a psychologist for drug use, will my young lesbian psychologist turn around and say, “heh smoking weed is fine in moderation, your GP is an arsehole, how else are you supposed to relax”? Hah. That’ll be the day.
With regard to the real world and not my over-working mind, we’ve been house hunting for a place in Belfast, I’ve been arguing with the “arsehole of bureaucracy” again and I’ve applied for an Irish passport because I’m sick of carrying around a British one that claims that I am a “subject to the Queen” – plus I’d rather like to not get blown up anytime soon. I Jest, I jest! Oh and I have been the jealous green monster many times this week as my little sister and her boyfriend sunned themselves in Gran Canaria, went on safari and swam with dolphins. Although I must say, stuff the dolphins, stuff the “lets sit on a beach and top up our tan for two weeks then drink copious amounts of cheap alcohol” tourist traps. I just want to go on holiday, as our trip to NY isn’t till next summer and that’s seems like an eternity away.
I’ll leave you with this; two of my favourite things - ‘weeds’ and weed. Namaste.
